You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Define "chronic" masturbator.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
