you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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