i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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