I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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