How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
