i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
