I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
