Joe is yelling at the trees again.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Randomize
