Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
vagina is talking i cant
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I can't turn off my feet"
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Randomize
