I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
