why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
