He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
