guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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