My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
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