i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
