Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
