this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
