There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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