It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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