I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
