Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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