Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
