I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
