If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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