Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
