Having a random hookup so left but love u
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
