great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
