i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
