she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I had to cum in my sink.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
