im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
