Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
