yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
