Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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