I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
