i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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