yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Every concussion has its silver lining
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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