your room smells of hookers.
And success
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
