I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
