Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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