I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
