yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
