STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
