Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
We're too hungover to prance.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
