Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Come see our sink grown plant.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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