I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
