i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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