I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
