He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
They took my balls.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Such a big mess for such a small penis
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
