Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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