just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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