You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
