I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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