what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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